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That Sinking Feeling

Script[]

Darkwing Duck: The city of St. Canard is home to a thousand criminals, but not one dares make a move. For this city has a shadowy guardian who hunts them like a phantom in the darkness. I am that guardian. I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares! I am Darkwing Duck! And I am... totally bored out of my skull! What is it? Are all the crooks on vacation? Is there some criminal holiday I don’t know about?

Launchpad McQuack: Hey lighten DW. It just mean you’re doing a great job crime-busting.

Darkwing Duck: I suppose, but I'm not asking for much, a jaywalker, a litterbug, anything!

Launchpad McQuack: Something took the oil tanker!

Darkwing Duck: That would be nice.

Launchpad McQuack: No! I mean, really! Down there!

Darkwing Duck: Oh, yeah? Where?

Launchpad McQuack: Right down there! A big hole opened up!

Darkwing Duck: Well, I don't see any-Oh, wait a minute. I appreciate the attempt, pal, but every night can't be filled with adventure. Let's go home. Ha! Disappearing tankers.

Launchpad McQuack: No, really. It fell down a big hole! Huh? Ah! Darkwing!

Gosalyn Mallard: Dad, wake up! We got a case! C'mon, Darkwing. It's on TV downstairs.

Darkwing Duck: Gosalyn, after I get up and have my cup of coffee... Remind me to punish you... Severely.

Gosalyn Mallard: Come on! It's a case! Oh!

Darkwing Duck: Can we find a more pleasant way of waking me, like high explosives under my pillow, perhaps?

Launchpad McQuack: See? I wasn't crazy... At least, no more than usual.

Male news reporter: And so it appears that the early morning disappearances of the SS Langdale and radio station KDUQ were not isolated incidents. Just an hour ago, employees of St. Canard Electric Plant barely escaped with their lives as the power station sank out of sight.

Darkwing Duck: Incredible! Sorry for doubting you, Launchpad. This is definitely a job for Darkwing Duck.

Gosalyn Mallard: Right! We're all set to go.

Darkwing Duck: We are going nowhere. You can go to the baseball game, like planed. Honker, you can use my ticket.

Gosalyn Mallard: No way! But I know about underground stuff. Like when the evil worm people were turning kids into zombie slaves.

Darkwing Duck: You put extra sugar on your Frosty-o's this morning, didn't you?

Gosalyn Mallard: So?

Darkwing Duck: This isn't a comic book. It's reality. Look, Gosalyn, I'm not going to chance getting you hurt on one of my cases.

Gosalyn Mallard: You just turn mushy whenever things start getting fun.

Darkwing Duck: Well, what I say goes. Besides, It's probably just another take over the world scheme. We'll be back by dinner.

Launchpad McQuack: It's coming right up. Just hang a right and we're there.

Launchpad McQuack: Whoa! Deep hole! Yeah, how are we supposed to get down?

Darkwing Duck: You rappel.

Launchpad McQuack: Gee, sorry. Must be my deodorant.

Darkwing Duck: Rappel! Rappel! Watch me! Plant your feet. Hand on rope release. Then, nimbly push off, like so... And so... And so...

Launchpad McQuack: Wow, great camouflage. You really blend into the rock!

(In St. Canard undergrounds, there is a mole named Professor Moliarty on the cruise ship.)

Professor Moliarty: Nothing like a cruise on the open seas. Maybe I'll steal an ocean next. (Laugh) I'm such a genius. It's a wonder my brain can contain it.

Mole #1: Moliarty, sir! Your Kineto Beam has been connected to the power plant. What next?

Professor Moliarty: Excellent. Prepare the elevators to receive the stadium. (Giggles) Look at them scurry off, so eager to please me. These sheep were just waiting for a real leader. Soon, I'll lead them to their true destiny on the surface world, and make a pretty penny in the process.

(At the stadium, Gosalyn and Honker are watching the baseball game)

Gosalyn Mallard: Oh, grownups wanted kids to be miserable. They think it builds character. Can I have another ketchup packet?

Honker Muddlefoot: Gee, Gosalyn, I think your dad just worries about you getting hurt.

Gosalyn Mallard: No. He's always treating me like a baby... While he hogs all the fun.

Darkwing Duck: Ouch.

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