"Kitchen Clean-Up" is the 01st of 13 Darkwing Duck comic stories published in the The Disney Afternoon magazine.
Summary
When Darkwing Duck admires St. Canard set against the night sky from the security of Darkwing Tower, a casual remark by Gosalyn that involves calling him "dad" sets off an oration about the virtuous of secret identities. Just as he's done boring his daughter, a helicopter from FredEx arrives at the tower with a package. Gosalyn mocks her father for having mail orders sent to Darkwing Tower, but Darkwing insists he is innocent. He considers blowing up the suspicious package from a safe distance until Gosalyn starts tearing it open. Her loot consists of a can of peanuts, a jar of water, a flowerpot full of dirt, a lightbulb, and a mirror.
The two don't have to wreck their brains over what these object have in common for long as suddenly Quackerjack jumps out of the can. He makes Gosalyn trip into the table with the package's contents, thereby knocking over the jar and the flowerpot from which respectively Liquidator and Bushroot emerge. Bushroot snatches the lightbulb from Darkwing and exchanges it in a lamp. This allows Megavolt to enter the hideout. With all four Fearsome Five grunts out and about, they toss the confused hero the mirror in which Negaduck's countenance appears. He explains to Darkwing that he has "ears around the schoolyard" whichs overheard the information on the base's whereabouts from Gosalyn. Darkwing is not impressed and challenges Negaduck to give it his best. Negaduck orders the Fearsome Five to initiate Plan W, which involves Bushroot throwing seeds at the duo and Liquidator watering them to create an ensnaring bush. The villains gloat about their victory as they investigate Darkwing Tower, leaving Darkwing free to give Gosalyn some instructions for his counterplan. They pretend that Gosalyn is hungry and berate the villains for letting a child starve. Predictably, the Fearsome Five could not care less. Darkwing continues his impromptu theatrics by lamenting how they'll die from lack of food with the refrigerator right next to them and describing in detail what all the delicacies inside are. It makes the four villains present drool and make a dash for the refrigerator while Negaduck warns them it's most likely a trap. He wins terrain in the decision making process, prompting Darkwing to throw in some reverse psychology. He affirms that it could be a bad idea to open fridge, provoking Negaduck to order it to be opened to avoid being of one mind with his archenemy.
Instead of tasty food, the hungry villains are avalanched by a disgusting green sludge. Now at an advantage, Darkwing frees himself and Gosalyn with a pair of hedge clippers he keeps in the utility pouch in his cape. The duo goes to work collecting the sludge and using it to force the Fearsome Five back into the small forms they used during infiltration. Sludge and villains are locked up in Burperware containers and repackaged to be returned to sender. As they post the package by S.N.A.I.L. Mail, Gosalyn asks what the sludge even was and Darkwing admits he doesn't know because it's been in there for so long.
Cast
Quotes
- "Privacy is a precious commodity to mysterious masked heroes! If we didn't have secret identities, we'd have to spend most of our time fending off fawning fans instead of doing daring deeds destabilizing disastrous devilty!"
- "Puh-leeeze! Your dramatic license if about to expire!"
- — Darkwing and Gosalyn.
- "I don't get it. I didn't order anything!"
- "Whether you get it or not, you got it!"
- — Darkwing and Gosalyn.
- "Hey! Who? What? Where?"
- "You forgot why!"
- — Darkwing and Quackerjack.
- "It's times like this I'm glad my dad is a superhero!!"
- "I wish I had something to be glad about!"
- — Gosalyn and Darkwing are in trouble.
- "How's that for a plot device? The whole thing was a plant! Har har har!"
- "I love it when he talks like that!"
- — Negaduck and Bushroot.
- "Now, now! What did I tell you guys about thinking for yourselves?"
- — Negaduck addresses his team.
- "You idiots!! Don't you know better than to listen to me when I say something positive?"
- — Negaduck addresses his team.
Notes
References
- Negaduck's line of "Pay no attention to the duck in the bush!" is an adaption of "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" from the 1900 novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
- Burperware is an adaption of Tupperware, which hit the market in 1948. Normally, the brand is known as Quackerware in Darkwing Duck fiction.
Continuity
- The "Who? What? Where? When? Why?" joke is repeated from "Stressed to Kill".
Errors
- It is feasible that Liquidator and Bushroot smuggle themselves into Darkwing Tower the way they do. Megavolt's usual powers do not include becoming energy, but he's acquired it on occasion so that works too. How Quackerjack is supposed to fit inside a can of peanuts is unknown. Negaduck's mirror-walkie-talkie can be a number of things, most logically a transdimensional communicator, but it is not explained.
- Quackerjack's outfit is colored most unusually, sporting plenty of greens and yellows. Negaduck wears a yellow hat for some reason.
- When Bushroot steals the lightbulb from him, Darkwing's feathers are colored green.
- Megavolt's face is as yellow as his suit a panel after he joins the crowd.
- Gosalyn's face is the same color as her beaks when she fake-cries.
- "Not sold in any stores!" seems a line more fit for Liquidator than for Quackerjack.
Other
- The Fearsome Five discover Darkwing Tower in this story, a feat they don't accomplish in the broader canon until Negaduck deduces Darkwing's identity in "The Duck Knight Returns". Unlike here, the Boom! Studios comics have him keep the knowledge secret from the others.