"Feeling Flushed" is the 11th of 35 Darkwing Duck comic stories published in the Disney Adventures magazine.
Summary
The city controller of St. Canard has been murdered in his own office and the maps of the city's water mains have been stolen. Darkwing Duck is called in to investigate the who and why. The only clue left is a playing card. To maximize their search efficiency, Darkwing hands Launchpad his felon file to flip through for a match while Darkwing himself scans his rogues gallery by head. He considers Card Shark, One-Eyed Jack, 23 Skidoo, and No Peak-ey Baseball before Launchpad embarrasses him by pointing out he hasn't been handed any felon file but a dossier of unpaid parking tickets. Darkwing excuses himself to the police officer present and redirects attention by making a dramatic exit. He and Launchpad jump out of the window expecting the Ratcatcher to respond to its remote controller and catch them. It does, however, not come and the duo land in a dumpster. Once they've wrestled themselves out of the trash, Launchpad notices the malfunction is caused because he forgot to put batteries in the remote controller. He thinks it's funny, Darkwing doesn't. Still there is a case to be solved and Darkwing rather thinks about that than their recent accident. As luck would have it, Launchpad finds another playing card among the trash. Darkwing recognizes the design as being from One Chump Plaza Casino. He's had dealings prior with that place because of a dog-racing scam, so the enterprise seems a good place to investigate.
To keep the element of surprise, they enter the casino through a heating vent. The vent is a better fit for Darkwing than it is for Launchpad, but Darkwing pays it no mind. At the end of the tunnel, Darkwing jumps out to make his grand entrance, only to become the center of a celebration for the casino's 100.000th patron. Darkwing is forced to sit out the festivities and leaves in a decidedly sour mood, not helped by Launchpad's subtle ridicule. Because of this, he's unwilling to hear his sidekick out about a discovery he has made. His next attempt to infiltrate the casino is by swinging from one rooftop to another, but he has to give up that course of action when he crashes against the casino's wall. Another idea to use the service entrance doesn't go over well either, but it gives Launchpad finally a chance to point out that the playing card they found earlier is actually a business card belonging to one Pokerface who has his office on the seventeenth floor.
Darkwing and Launchpad crash the office and are briskly overpowered and tied up by the Suits, Pokerface's henchmen. It puts Pokerface in a good mood and he offers to explain his scheme to the crimefighters before offing them. Darkwing is vocal about not wanting to sit through a tiresome speech of self-importance all his villains have in store for him, so Pokerface gets the killing process started while sharing his story anyway. The chains with which they are tied up are hooked up to another chain that carries them over to a conveyor belt and drops them between two large sheets of playing card prints. Pokerface narrates that he has developed a gambleholic toxin he intends to pour into his casino's water supply to drain his patrons for all they are worth. He makes a couple of "slice" and "cut" puns that worry Launchpad and rightly so; the conveyor belt they are on leads to a chopping device meant to cut out the playing cards from the print sheet. Darkwing uses his teeth to pull a feather from his sidekick's neck and tickles his bill with it. Launchpad's powerful sneeze boots them off the conveyor belt but into a vat of undiluted gambleholic toxin. The toxin melts the chains open without harming the crimefighters, but Darkwing swallows a draught of the substance before getting out of the vat. All he does now is challenge to bets, eventually settling on poker. In order to snap him out of it, Launchpad tries various lies to upset him back to his old self. A story that the Ratcatcher has sustained severe damage doesn't work and neither does a tale of Megavolt being on the loose. A report that Gosalyn spilled soy sauce on his spare costumes finally does the trick.
At the water tank on the roof, Pokerface is celebrating his rise to top tier villainhood. He reminisces about his time as a minor crook struggling to get by financially. One night when visiting the unemployment office, a playing card set display fell on his head from above. He took this as a sign as how he should work his way to the top and the rest is history. His daydream is interrupted by the arrival of Darkwing Duck and Launchpad. Pokerface sics the Suits on the duo once more, who this time have the malefit of Darkwing's gambling addiction. Launchpad manipulates the situation to their advantage by betting against Darkwing that he can't defeat the four henchmen. Darkwing proceeds to kick tail. His first opponent is Heart, coming after Darkwing with brute strength. Darkwing jumps atop his shoulders kicks himself off, smashing Heart's face into a nearby pump. Next is the unassuming-looking Club. He gets out his club on Darkwing's left foot and demands Darkwing to hand him his gas gun. Darkwing swings right back with a victim act of his own that nets him an open shot at Club's face. Third comes Diamond, armed with a scimitar. He slashes at the hero and decapitates his hat while Darkwing makes a run for it. He tries to escape through the ladies' room, but his path is blocked by a large patron. She spots Diamond behind Darkwing and, instantly taking a liking to him, jumps into his arms, squashing him. The final Suit to face him is Spade, who insults his senses of humor and fashion in one go. Infuriated, Darkwing makes short work of him.
Cast
Quotes
- "When St. Canard gets overrun with the slop and spilth of society, they call upon guess who to give the city the white tornado treatment! Up until a few minutes ago it had been a typical evening of last-minute rescues, skin-of-your-teeth escapes, and despot deterring derring-do. But then I had to put down the comic books and get to work."
- — Darkwing Duck.
- "Flip through my felon file whilst my computer-like cranium comes up with the nom-du-crime who matches this clue! Was it Card Shark? One-Eyed Jack? 23 Skidoo? No Peak-ey Baseball?"
- "I don't see any of those, DW! Just bunches of unpaid parking tickets!"
- — Darkwing Duck and Launchpad.
- "Hey! I forgot to put the batteries in the remote unit! What do you think about that?"
- "Trust me, you don't want to know."
- — Launchpad and Darkwing Duck.
- "That'll be the last time they try to make a fool out of Darkwing Duck!"
- "Try?!"
- "You ever see yourself in a muzzle?"
- "It wasn't so bad, D.W. You ever see yourself in a gold lame feather boa before?"
- — Darkwing Duck and Launchpad.
- "Prepare your peepers for the paradigm of peerless profundity!"
- — Darkwing Duck.
- "I've had enough of you loquacious, self-important, grandeur-deluded villains! I don't care about your stupid plot... or your crummy childhood... or dreams of global conquest or anything else! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!"
- — Darkwing Duck.
- "Now what do we do?"
- "Well, if I'm gonna maintain my membership in the superheroes union, we better break outta this and stop that fruitcake!"
- — Launchpad and Darkwing Duck.
- "How am I gonna snap him outta this?! Hey DW, the Ratcatcher was stripped and it's up on blocks!!"
- "Jacks or better to open!"
- "Megavolt just escaped and he's flying over the city in a giant toaster oven!"
- "No bet? I think you're bluffing!"
- "Gosalyn just dumped soy sauce on all your spare costumes!"
- "WHAT?!?"
- — Launchpad finds the cure to Darkwing Duck's gambleholicism.
- "I am the teror that flaps in the night! I am the winged scourge who's gonna ruin your inside straight! --I'll see you five and raise you ten!"
- "Oh no!!"
- — Darkwing Duck and Launchpad.
Notes
References
- Darkwing calls Launchpad "Duck Tracy", a pun on "Dick Tracy", the titular hero of a 1931 comic series that was turned into a Disney movie in 1990.
Milestones
- This comic marks the first appearance of Pokerface, Heart, Club, Diamond, Spade, the hippo gambler, One Chump Plaza Casino, and the gambleholic toxin.
Errors
- On page 3, "the maps of the city's water mains" is misspelled as "the maps of the cities' water mains".
- The feather Darkwing pulls from Launchpad's neck is brown.
- The pattern on Pokerface's suit is missing when Darkwing makes his entrance.
Other
- Although they do not appear, Gosalyn Mallard and Megavolt are mentioned.